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Gail Chord Schuler
: "Lord, why'd you let that dog bite me?"" : —Gail Chord Schuler : Gail Chord Schuler is an accomplished novelist, screenwriter, YouTuber and bangin' slice of ass who goes by her screen name Gabrielle Chana. She is the dream bitch of all the men on the Church of Gail. She owns two spaceships that she for some reason never rides on, although her men do ride it. Description Gail has written several books full of strange silly and unintentionally hilarious stuff and is mostly Brent Spiner fanfiction. Some of these books are children's books, one read on the Drunken Peasants describes Brent raping a cat named Spot. Gail's arch enemy is the Jesuit Order and its leader, Zack Knight. The dP uses its small influence to subliminally recruit more Jesuits to further the goal of world domination. Gail is notorious for publishing videos in which she gives blowjobs to random DP fans. It should be noted that she is strangely jovial for someone who believes that a secret society is constantly watching her and raping her men. On Drunken Peasants This is easily the most one-sided "feud" that has occurred on the Drunken Peasants. It has mainly consisted of the Peasants responding to videos from Gail Chord Schuler. God knows if Gail is even sane enough to know that the Drunken Peasants exist. Gail herself has been quoted to have been stalking Brent Spiner, a celebrity who played Commander Data on Star Trek: The Next Generation for 20 years. Her obsession with this man, and many more characters such as "Jesus Christ" and "Vladimir Putin" have caused her to preach her word about the enemy Jesuits, controlled by Zack Knight. Gail owns a Star Trek like ship known as "The Church of Gail" where she has many shenanigans ranging from malware causing everyone's peni to fall off, to sentient tacos and burritos. Many fans have attempted to convince Gail that TJ is actually Zack Knight, her arch nemesis, and TJ himself has confessed that he himself IS Zack Knight. Gail was proven to be complete racist in Episode 131, after reading off a message sent from her black lover Terrance Jenkins as if he was some sort of post-slavery "massa, massa" Uncle Tom. Although this may also be on account of the person pretending to Terrance over Skype talking in such a manner. The Church of Gail The Church of Gail is a spaceship orbiting the Earth. Its crew is comprised of several famous men who are the suitors of Gail Chord Schuler, who for some reason is not on the spaceship with them. They are on the ship to evade Jesuit antics, which are the schemes of Jesuit leader Zack Knight. The crew of the Church include Brent Spiner,Vladimir Putin, Keanu Reeves, and Matthew McConaughey. It has been reported that the Church of Gail merely escaped destruction after being chased by a sentient taco and a sentient burrito through the center of the Sun. Despite only being ONE BEAN away from destruction, the C.O.G. escaped when the taco and burrito became crispy and delicious before the Church was destroyed. The mechanism by which the taco and burrito became sentient and developed destructive capabilities are still not fully understood. It has been revealed that the Jesuits, the Church of Gail, and even Schuler herself were all contrivances of TJ. TJ had orchestrated, and continues to orchestrate, the saga of the Church of Gail under the pseudonym of Zack Knight. Still, some people are audacious enough to make the absurd claim that Gail is mentally ill. Jesus, the Eternal Bridegroom Jesus: The Eternal Bridegroom is a book by Gail Chord Schuler. It is a testament to how far off the deep end brilliant and heavenly Gail really is. It is available on Amazon in digital form. The book is going to include such wonderful characters such as Brent Spiner, Satan, and Bubba the Black Jesuit. Jesus Christ is going to narrate the audiobook. How that would happen is unknown, because she believes Jesus is in heaven. But she will assuredly find a way. | |[[Category:Characters]]||}}